Not So Immortal: A Spoof
Mar. 12th, 2023 08:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
heliopauseentertainmentsContinuity: IDW1
Rating: Teen
Relationship: Background Megatron/Rodimus (if you squint, just enough to land the joke)
Characters: Rodimus & Minimus Ambus
Warnings: Suggestive themes, swearing, My Immortal references
Summary: In which Minimus stumbles upon a piece of creative writing.
Fic under cut. See AO3 for complete notes.
Hi my name is Rodimus Cron and I have long black and purple armor (that’s how I got my name) with evil flames and purple decals that cover my entire chest and bromine red optics like limpid spinel and a lot of people tell me I look like Skywarp (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Solus Prime but I wish I was because she’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a sparkeater but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white facial plating. I’m also a space wizard, and I captain an awesome spaceship called the Lost Light in space where I’ve been here for years (I’m 4.2 million). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Bot Topic and I buy all my paints from there. For example today was I wearing a black matte base coat with matching trim around it and a shiny clear coat on my hips, purple joint accents, and black leg armor. I was wearing a black flame decal on my chest, white primer on my face, black optic trim with red undereye paint. I was walking around the ship. The ship is in space so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.
“Hey Rodimus!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Megatron!
That was it.
After several pages of faux edgy stylistic choices, unusual plot decisions, and uncomfortable semi-graphic depictions of interfacing, Minimus had seen more than enough.
He turned the datapad off and went off to locate the author. Rodimus needed to learn to not leave these sorts of personal writing out where everyone and Primus could see it. He was lucky that Minimus found it first.
What had that mech been thinking? Leaving it in the captain’s chair where it would almost certainly be seen? That was just asking for trouble.
"Rodimus, what is this?"
Minimus held the datapad up for the captain's inspection, doing his damned best to keep the expression on his face neutral as possible.
Creative writing was an important avenue of self-expression, of course; Minimus knew that from personal experience. He was in no position to judge Rodimus, after all. It was all part of practicing a skill and there was no shame in that.
Furthermore, indulging in fantasy from time to time was an allegedly healthy behavior for the processor. That was what his research had indicated anyway.
However, from the contents that Minimus had inadvertently borne witness to, he could only wonder, perhaps, if there were other factors at play. He had never seen anyone describe Megatron that way, with that much color and awkward eroticism. Conversations might need to be had.
Rodimus’s optics went wide when he recognized the datapad before he snatched out right out of Minimus’s outstretched hand.
“Thanks, Mims,” he said, not bothering to answer the question actually asked of him. “I must have misplaced that.”
His vocalizer sounded like it has been kicked into double-speed and pitched up.
Embarrassment. An expected reaction.
Rodimus, however, turned on his heel to march off in the other direction.
“Anyway, I need to go jump out of the airlock now. See you around, buddy.”
Minimus hurried after him.
“Isn’t that rather excessive?”
“It sure is, my guy!”
Rather than stopping, Rodimus rounded a blind corner. The heavy sound of armor colliding and Rodimus’s voice going “oof!” announcing that he had impacted a crew member in his haste.
“Oh, hey, Megs, I didn’t see you there—“
